Put simply, anal orgasm is the result of sexual stimulation of the nerves in and around the anus. If you've ever read really powerful sex poetry or erotica or engaged with arresting, transfixing erotic art, you know how this feels.
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If someone on a TV show said they had a sexual experience by reading a book or engaging with art, most audiences would raise their eyebrows - but I believe this is sex. The reason why we don't normally count powerful encounters with art, film, or erotic spaces - or non-tactile exchanges with people - as "sex" is because, linguistically, we're stunted in our ability to convey this range of human eroticism. I believe these are just two items on an endless buffet of erotic experiences a person can enjoy. Most people silo "sexuality" into two experiences: "sex with other people" and "masturbation," with the former involving penetration and the latter involving self-touching. Every time I walk outside is an adventure. These are complete erotic experiences - and for me, they're better than masturbation.
An erotic encounter can be anything - browsing the underwear aisle in a department store, meeting the eyes of a sexy person on the sidewalk, stripping next to someone in a gym locker room, or seeing a man's bulge on the sidewalk. I prefer erotic encounters over solo time. Here are 20 alternative orgasms you should explore right now. There are no limited people, just limited understandings. Many people can't orgasm the "traditional" way - they have physical, medical, or psychological barriers to doing so - and often feel left out of discussions on sex.
We must redefine "orgasm" to include a range of sensations that are non-normative - that don't fit a playbook, need specific body parts, or require movements that only able-bodied people can achieve. Other types of orgasms are more powerful for me. As an adult, I don't masturbate every day, and in sex, I never have to come.
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Later, I was taught how to "jack off" but it never became a big thing for me. I never achieved ejaculation, or the "standard" orgasm for cisgender men, but I still liked the feeling. When I was little, I didn't know how to masturbate, so for years I just rubbed myself against the bed. People with penises are led to believe their orgasms are simple - buildup, ejaculation, and you're done - and as a person with a penis, I disagree. We still don't know everything about orgasm for humans with vaginas and clitorises, which are described in countless different ways by those who have them. With orgasm, we generally know which brain chemicals are involved, but the range of orgasm is still a mystery, one shrouded in antiquated thinking and norms.įor most of its history, sex science has been a male-led field, subject to the biases, privileges, taboos, and hetero-centric standards that modern sex therapists have to do away with.
But not everyone agrees on what "feeling good" means. Alternative Orgasms: 20 New Ways to Hit the SpotĮveryone wants to feel good.
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